


The Ultimatum

by kndrmbs



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Asmodeus is a shitty dad, Based on 3.18 promo and spoilers, But we know they'll be happy in the end, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Idiots in Love, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 15:53:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kndrmbs/pseuds/kndrmbs
Summary: "I will give you three days. The choice is yours… break his heart to save his life."Asmodeus has accepted Alec's request under one condition. He has a bigger plan than what it seems to be on the surface but Alec doesn't see this.And it isn't just Alec who faces a choice to make.





	The Ultimatum

 

**I will give you three days. The choice is yours to make... break his heart to save his life.**

**Or watch him wither away. Because of you.**

 

_I can't live without Magnus._

A voice in his head implored, begging him not to do this.

_But I'm not enough for Magnus._

And Alec couldn’t bear the thought of him causing Magnus any more misery. Maybe it was enough that he had met him and spent time with him, no matter how short-lasted it was. 

Wanting to keep him forever at the expense of his happiness would be too selfish; and he had been selfish enough.

Asmodeus was the only one that could give Magnus what he needed more than anything else, and he didn't want his chosen son to be with a Nephilim. It sounded like a simple enough price to pay; and yet the biggest price Alec had ever imagined.

The question was: how was he going to do this? Never in his life he had thought he'd be the one to say goodbye.

Magnus would never willingly let go of him in exchange for his magic even if it meant he would wither away like an empty shell.

Alec had been pondering for the past three days. If he spent one more day without doing anything, they would move into the new place and start a new lift together. They would grow old together like Alec had dreamed; but clearly it wasn't what Magnus wanted.

He had led a hard life. Alec couldn't let him finish it in pain.

Magnus was now sorting through his jewelries, almost too briskly. He had been going through dramatic episodes of high and low and the mood swing was getting more and more extreme. One moment he was overwhelmingly bubbly and then the next moment he didn’t seem to have any will to continue his life - and that was Alec’s biggest fear. 

He watched at his boyfriend in silence. He wanted every little detail about Magnus engraved on his mind. This beautiful, odd, funny and incredulously loving man that had stolen his heart.

 “Magnus.”

Softly, Alec called his name and Magnus turned to look at him.

 “Yes, Alexander?”

He had to do this, the time was running out.

 “Magnus, I….”

But the words got stuck in his throat like a big lump. Magnus came close to him, sensing something wasn’t right.

 “What’s wrong?”

Alec swallowed down the lump with a mighty effort. His heart was pounding, vibrating his whole body. He had prepared for this. He even had practiced in front of a mirror – just like he practiced his speech for the almost-proposal, Alec recalled painfully – so he wouldn’t break down and cry.

He was a strong person. He was the brave shadowhunter who had killed countless demons and seen blood and death since his childhood. He wasn't a stranger to pain.

 “I’ve been thinking… a lot… and, and I don’t think I can do this. I’m sorry, Magnus.”

Alec finally blurted out and Magnus looked up at him without words. Alec turned his face way, unable to look straight into those brown eyes.

 “It’s just all too much for me. Knowing that I can’t help you and I’m the reason you’re so unhappy. And it makes _me_ unhappy.”

There was some truth in it. He was a terrible liar and Magnus could see through most of his lies. In order to convince him, he had to use truths. Except that he would never want to give up on them no matter how painful it was.

 “I’m not enough for you. And it hurts. I’m sorry, Magnus. I don’t think I’m strong enough to get through this.”

And there was silence.

Deep in his mind, Alec wanted Magnus to protest. If Magnus insisted to hold onto him and refused to break up, Alec might reluctantly give in. Because the truth was, this was much more painful than he had braced himself for and he was starting to regret it now.

Or if Magnus fought him back and yelled, accusing him of thinking only of his own feelings and being selfish again. Then it would have been so much better.

But he didn’t.

Alec’s heart sank to the ground when he saw a look of acceptance on Magnus’ face. As if he had seen it coming. He had to fight the urge to go back on his own promise to himself and say he hadn’t meant it.

 “I understand, Alexander. I’m sorry I put you through this.”

Alec gaped, feeling at loss. That was it? Why was he apologizing for his unhappiness? After everything he’d been through? The questions made him almost dizzy as he saw the sad smile on Magnus' face.

 “I’ve lived for hundreds of years. Did you really think I didn’t know you were hurting too?”

Alec clenched his jaw, feeling uncontrollable sobs about to take over him.

 “I love you, Alexander. I will never regret falling in love with you.”

He should have said it back. But he couldn’t. He knew that if he said one word of love he would completely break down and end up confessing everything.

He felt Magnus’ hands cupping his face and the soft lips touching his own, ever so softly and lovingly. He closed his eyes to savour the familiar sensation. The warmth that could calm him down even in the worst times.

When he opened his eyes, he saw that Magnus was completely shattered behind the brave face. And Alec felt that a part of him was also irreparably broken; and he would never recover.

 _But it's worth it_ , Alec told himself, staring at his own wound. If it meant that Magnus would eventually have a better life, he could accept the pain. 

He would watch him, even from a distance, go back to his old self and find happiness; and that would be enough for him. He would be content that he played a little part in his regaining of happiness.

_Magnus is a strong person. He will live on and move on._

Even if Alec himself was not.

 

 

 

 

 

_Alec is young and has a whole life ahead of him. He will live on and move on. You should be happy for him._

Magnus told himself, continuing to pack his stuff in the empty room.

He was going to move into the new apartment that could have been their place, but all by himself. In a way he was grateful that Alec had waited till he had somewhere to go.

He moved swiftly and mindlessly, blocking out all the emotions. 

Of course he had been aware of Alec’s pain. How terribly unhappy he was. He was too selfish to break it off, because he needed Alec beside him even if there wasn’t much he could actually do to make him better, but he had told himself that he should let go of him if Alec wanted to. Secretly, he had been almost waiting for the moment.

So he let him go. He could have clung to Alec and persuaded him but he chose not to.

This was Alec’s first love. It should have been sweet and innocent and joyful, and yet he had failed to provide him with the happiness.

Maybe he wasn’t as wise as he had considered himself to be, after all. Alec might have been blinded by his love, but he saw himself for what he was: a failure. He'd failed as a leader and he failed again as a lover.

 _So much for hundreds years of experience_ , Magnus thought to himself bitterly.

And then he saw something on the floor and his breath hitched. It was the first gift from Alec; the first gift Magnus had received in almost a century.

He smiled thinking of the young man’s innocence and pure love; the fact he had bought this little charm for a powerful warlock to wish him luck and protection. 

He felt his smile turn into a silent cry. He couldn’t breathe. He realized that he had lost everything.

Then the next thought dawned on him: he had nothing to live for. 

He had lived long enough. He had accomplished one or two things to be proud of. And he had experienced the most intense love in his life, regardless of the cost. Maybe this was the time to end it all. It seemed like the most logical answer. 

It was then he heard the voice; the chilling voice he knew too well.

_“It pains to see you in such a state, my son."_

Magnus looked around but the room was still empty. What did he want now? He had nothing to offer and nothing to ask for. 

 “Father?”

 "You’re really going to die for a mere Nephilim?”

 "You know too well Alec isn't the one who put me through this."

 "You chose to make the deal."

 "And I have lost everything. What do you want from me?"

 “You have lost everything, indeed. And I came to give you one thing.”

 "What do you mean?”

 “I will give you your powers back. If you come to Edom with me.”

He froze. Suddenly everything clicked.

 “But the choice is yours, my stubborn son.”

 “It was all part of your plan, wasn’t it? You wanted to break me so I would surrender.”

Magnus' voice was shaking with fury and fear.

 “And it seemed to have worked out nicely. Don’t you think?”

For a moment, Magnus saw red. He felt overwhelmed by his own anger, then he shuddered at his father’s utter cruelty; that he had shattered his own son to pieces to reassemble them. He had driven him into a corner by putting him in the worst misery.

The scariest part was that despite everything, the thought of getting his magic back still ignited some hope in his heart. It felt like the only light in the complete darkness.

And he hated himself for it.

Magnus burst into laughter. He laughed and laughed at his own foolishness and how pathetic he was now. If someone had seen him, the would have thought Magnus was finally gone mad.

So it all came to this. After all the fight and struggles to break the cord. After everything he had done to break free from the greater demon.

Magnus laughed at himself for having believed that he would never surrender. 

Finally, his laugh came to an abrupt halt. He didn't feel like himself anymore.

 “Okay, father. You have won. You successfully destroyed me and now I'm a dead man.”

Magnus spat out the words, his voice which sounding so strange to his ears. 

 “Take me to your side. The one place I'm wanted.”

 

 


End file.
